Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
the liver wants what the liver wants
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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