it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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