Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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