Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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