Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
