Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
They are going to name an STD after you.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize