I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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