The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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