I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
They have beer where we have blood.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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