I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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