It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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