Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
