How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
your room smells of hookers.
And success
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just blew my weed a kiss
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
