benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize