we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
