After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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