did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
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I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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