Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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