Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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