Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
i believe in u and ur pee
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize