News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
