We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
