Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
