Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
