i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize