just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
