i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
