we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize