He disabled his match.com account in front of me
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
