this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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