I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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