Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
In America we eat man semen.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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