i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
