Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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