my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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