Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
