Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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