you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
