..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My life is pants optional.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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