just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
