and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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