He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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