he thought i was a dude.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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