well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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