I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
