She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize