haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
My brain says no but my pants say off.
please come you make the beer taste better
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
