hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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