he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
barbara walters just said penis...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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