Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
