I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
