if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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