I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she peed on how many people?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Randomize
